Rahul Gandhi off to London!
Jun 14, 2019

All of Congress is in turmoil, and our Dear Leader Rahul Gandhi has decamped to London soon after results!

Of course, one has to understand how “tough” life is for Gandhis. After all, he is used to flying off to London practically every other month to beat the searing heat and dust of the colonies. All his pals are there too, some desperately trying not to get back home! As elections were coming and prospects of becoming PM were being sold to him by his faithful servants in media and elsewhere, he had to stay put among the unwashed us.

These are the sort of “sacrifices” that the dynasty has to make to serve us!

Now that elections are over and the next one is not due anytime soon, pretences can be done away with and [Rahul has flown off to London] (https://theprint.in/politics/rahul-gandhi-is-on-a-week-long-trip-to-london-to-return-ahead-of-parliament-session). One can presume the royal damaad will join him there along with his pals in the real estate business.

Congress in turmoil

The background to this Houdini act should be depressing, if you are a Congress sympathiser:

  1. Rahul has been blaming his own party leaders for not shouting in chorus with him that “PM is a thief” as reason for defeat! That is the sum and substance of his “introspection”.
  2. His sister has been blaming party workers for the defeat! Even leftist rag [The Hindu finds it odd and comes out with Editorial!] (https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/editorial/beyond-the-wall/article27943289.ece?homepage=true)
  3. Leaders of the party are meeting in his absence with zero powers to decide or do anything and do nothing but issue shameless statements that he is still their leader!
  4. Party workers and junior leaders and MLAs are leaving in droves to whatever greener pastures they can find.
  5. Corruption scandals, farmers distress are raging in the few states they still manage to rule.

The Omerta code

  1. If you recall, prior to the elections, the corrupt elitist media lobby that labels itself as “independent” was busy selling Rahul to us voters.
  2. We were told (for the nth time) that he has “come of age” and is PM material.
  3. We were also subjected to barrage of propaganda that he is the messiah of the poor subaltern (like his Mom, Granny, Gramps, great gramps etc were) unlike Modi who is for the “rich”
  4. His vicious campaign of hate and lies calling the PM “thief” in every public meeting was quietly buried and the cabal instead tried to project it as a campaign of “love” unlike Modi who spreads “hate”.
  5. NONE of these charlatans are talking about this disappearance! Of course, the Omerta code strictly applies. You don’t squeal on your pals. “Fearless journalism” is licking dynastic boots so the envelopes get thicker.

Don’t ask inconvenient questions

You will be labeled a “troll”, “fascist”, “Sanghi urine drinker” and worse if you question the dynasty. The corrupt yellow brigade that calls itself “un pliable”, “fearless journalists” etc., as well fake intellectual charlatans hired from Stalinist left will pounce on you.

  1. Just don’t ask where all this money to take frequent foreign trips comes from! After all our royal has never worked even one day in his life!
  2. Just don’t ask for where our Dear Leader stays, who he parties with and who he wines and dines with.
  3. Just don’t ask how come our royal damaad who was a nobody suddenly becomes super rich, flies of Europe at drop of hat and parties with the “suit boot” crowd.
  4. Just don’t ask if Nehru made sure (as some corrupt yellows say), we owe it to him that we are literate and not drinking cow urine, how come his progeny have to get even basic university degrees from London?!

You will be fine! You will be eligible to attend garden parties in Janpath, get juicy gigs from RSTV or “investments” from moneybags friendly to the dynasty! You can also get contracts to write OpEds in US newspapers friendly to our dynasty. Litfest invites are all yours, that goes without saying! You can confer rewards and awards on each other as “eminent journalist” or “Public intellectual” etc., live comfy lives in Delhi, sip scotch, accumulate frequent flier miles and hotel reward points, and shed tears for the subaltern!

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